Some of us may be angry at the drop of a hat. Some of us may be angry for valid reasons but may wish to bring down such instances. Others may want to please the Lord by having fewer instances of anger. Still, others may have an increase in blood pressure when they are angry and wish to avoid these occurrences totally. As Christians, we have a very effective and powerful way to control and manage anger.
Choose to read in sequence the various themes on anger management for a Christian. Else, read the topic as per your desire.
1. Why are the Bible verses a powerful tool to control anger?
2. Why is controlling the tongue important?
3. What is the role of love in managing anger?
4. How can the Holy Spirit help in controlling anger?
5. What’s the Lord’s cut-off time policy on “wrath”?
6. Bonus material on “Christian anger management.”
1. Why are the Bible verses a powerful tool to control anger?
Bible scripture is Holy Spirit-breathed & authored by the Holy Spirit of God. It’s the Living Word. When we read the scripture prayerfully with earnestness, we get the opportunity and privilege to encounter Jesus Christ.
“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.” (John 1:14 NKJV)
We also know that Jesus Christ is the Prince of Peace. Thus, as we encounter Jesus Christ by reading and praying the scripture, we get the privilege to get Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace, to rule over our situation and our circumstances.
“For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.“ (Isaiah 9:6 NKJV )
We are also asked not to be just hearers or readers of the Bible verses but to be earnest and obedient people who follow and obey the verses.
So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls. But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. (James 1:21-22)
2. Why is controlling the tongue important?
The Bible says that controlling the tongue is crucial.
It goes to say that if anyone thinks he or she is religious, yet does not restrain or control his/her tongue from speaking in anger, he or she is deceiving their heart.
Thus, it’s important for all Christians to ensure that they control their anger and what they speak in anger. Rather, Christians are asked to remain silent whenever they are in a state of anger.
If anyone among you thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless. (James 1:26 NKJV)
The Bible also asks us to be always ready to hear and to be slow to speak and slow to express any anger. We should think and think again and consider if our conversation would be useful; only then, after much time, speak if at all we feel we are in anger. Scripture also reminds us that the wrath of man does not result in God’s righteousness. So we keep this greatly in mind, totally avoiding extreme anger.
So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:19-20 NKJV)
Note in the last portion of the above verse, further emphasis is placed on the wrath of man, i.e., intense anger of man does not result in righteousness of God. So let us, with all of our heart, hate any expression of wrath. Do you want to partner with evil like this? Rather hate it with all of your being.
3. What is the role of love in managing anger?
Christian ‘Love’ is the love of the Father God towards us, that he gave His begotten son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for all of us. Christian ‘Love’ is the love of Jesus Christ towards the Father in obedience towards God’s will. It is also the love of Christ towards each one of us that He chose to willingly die on the cross because He saw the Joy of salvation of all who believed and accepted Jesus Christ as Savior.
A dimension of Christian ‘Love’ can be best understood in 1 Corinthians, chapter 13. You can see that love is patient and kind. Where love is, a person does not get irritable, nor does it keep a record of being wronged.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)
Many of you who know anger know that anger often starts with being irritated and keeping a record of being wronged.
When you become more aware of the love of Christ, the love that paved the way for Jesus choosing to die on the cross to redeem you from sins, you can choose not to be irritable.
When you remember the finished work of the cross, the forgiveness for all your sins from Jesus, you are naturally prompted to keep no record of being wronged; your very need to have an expression of anger loses a reason!
4. How can the Holy Spirit help in controlling anger?
When we have an ongoing relationship with the Holy Spirit, when we have a life of surrender and obedience to the Holy Spirit, we become a resting place and a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit. As we keep growing in the Holy Spirit, we start to bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
22 But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness,
23 Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things, there is no law [that can bring a charge]. (Galatians 5:22,23 AMPC)
Increase of peace, patience, and self-control from the Holy Spirit in us and through our lives brings changes in us. We are bound to experience a major shift in successfully controlling anger.
A colleague of mine working alongside me, after having taken up this route, once experienced the old nature of anger starting from within her, but before it was fully expressed, the Holy Spirit constrained her from expressing anger any further, and self-control took charge. What started as an expression of anger eventually became an expression of self-control. We are greatly delighted at the power of the Holy Spirit in changing our lives.
So, do not limit yourself just because you have a bad track record in controlling anger. As you surrender to the Holy Spirit, you are bound to see greater control over your emotions, including anger.
Surrendering to the Holy Spirit, you will discover greater control of your expressions and your life.
5. What’s the Lord’s cut-off time policy on “wrath”?
God has a specific requirement to follow in case we slip into wrath.
We are asked to sort out issues, discuss, and even forgive the very causes of wrath before sunset.
Ephesians 4:26 says
Be angry, and do not sin.
Do not let the sun go down on your wrath.
This is a reminder that anger can lead to sin.
Therefore, controlling anger is most important.
An angry person is more likely to sin.
I know a family in my neighborhood where the wife has been very abusive toward the husband for years.
We recently learned about this. My wife started meeting the lady to educate her about anger and how she should use the scripture to understand Jesus’s perspective on anger and wrath, and forgiveness. A few months later, peace, joy, and love ruled in the family.
When we diffuse wrath before sunset, both parties agree to forgive and resolve the differences with or without being interested in identifying the person at fault.
Many of our family friends have successfully tried this – obeying this law on wrath.
6. Bonus material on “Christian anger management.”
As Christians, some of us desire to be true disciples of Christ. We desire to be “holy” – which means separated unto God.
Jesus was explaining to his disciples about what could defile a man. He said that it was not what goes into the mouth (i.e. what a man eats), but what a man speaks that defiles a person. Jesus conveyed this in a beautiful way, mentioning it as what comes out of the mouth that defiles a person.
Psalm 141:3 is a prayer we can choose to speak aloud wherever possible throughout the day. If you are in places where you cannot speak aloud, we can whisper it or mouth it. The Lord God is ever faithful, and He always notices when we do so from our heart, with sincerity, with expectation and faith and thankfulness.
Take control of what I say, O Lord,
and guard my lips. ( Psalm 141:3 NLT Bible version)
Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth;
Keep watch over the door of my lips. (Psalm 141:3 NKJV version)
Jesus Christ further explains that what a person speaks and thinks makes a person unclean. This is what Jesus says.
18 But whatever comes out of the mouth comes from the heart, and this is what makes a man unclean and defiles [him].
19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts (reasonings and disputings and designs) such as murder, adultery, sexual vice, theft, false witnessing, slander, and irreverent speech.
20 These are what make a man unclean and defile [him]; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him unclean or defile [him]. (Matthew 15:18-20)
You see, there is a greater importance of speaking the right words. The importance of controlling your thoughts. If you wish to read further on controlling your thoughts, click here. How essential is it to keep and maintain the condition of our hearts well.
Successful body toning does not happen when you go to the gym once or twice. Change happens only after you regularly go and maintain discipline and consistency.
In the book of Philippians, Paul says:
Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:9 Bible version NLT)
Instead of learning and practicing many things, focus on controlling anger; keep practicing until you for certain know that a good change has happened in you. Read this blog post every few days, not because of the wisdom of the writer of this article, but for this reason: this article has scripture; the Holy Spirit breathed scripture, the powerful living Word of God, which can transform us.
All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17 NKJV)
Brief note on controlling your thoughts:
When you give no attention and ignore matters consistently, it will stop bothering you. This works with friends, habits, anger, and thoughts. But if, instead, you think on good things as the Bible says, you arrive at superior results. This is what Paul says as a final thought in the conclusion of his epistle to Philippians.
8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4: 8-9 NLT)
